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    很失望,很失落,这几天的情绪很糟糕,想发火,可不想在众人面前.
    早上的课不想去上,起来后看到漫天的乌云,打消了去上课的想法.
    想来写点东西,记不清已经有多少天没有在这留下点什么了.
    好好的天又下起了雨,降起了温,不喜欢这样的天气,我讨厌穿着厚厚的衣服束缚着我,难受.
     
    大三的下学期了,每天都有很多很多的想法,每天都有数不尽的烦恼.
    看着周围的人都在忙碌着,看着周围的人都在忙着考研,出国,公务员,心理很不是滋味.
    觉得这些都不适合我,我不是块学习的料,我无法拜托我的懒惰.
    想到那不感冒的高数和看不懂的英语,我怎么也没考这些东西的信心.
    于是,我只能成为一个玩乐户,在别人都在学习的时候.
    开学也过了4周了,一直都是在这玩游戏,找不到一件有意义又让自己感兴趣的事,只有游戏来麻痹自己.
    昨天,直接了当的删了游戏,很生气,真的是很生气,我无法解释那一种感觉.
    很丢脸,很尴尬,很瞧不起自己,觉着全世界都在嘲笑我,真的很失败.
    我讨厌被嘲笑的感觉,我讨厌被人看不起的感觉,自信,在那一刻丧失全无,很长一段时间读将很难找回.
    删完之后,发现我又陷入了空虚,放不下.
     
    最近的睡眠质量又变的很不好,总是睡不着,睡睡醒醒,即使再累.
    很无奈,嗜睡的我居然睡不着觉,总是会在梦中想到很多白天没有时间也不敢想的事,梦着梦着就醒了,再也无法入睡.
    我期待着睡觉睡到自然醒的那一天.
     
    昨夜,我梦见了一个人.
     

    是不是不管爱上什么人
    也要天长地久求一个安稳
    噢 噢 我真想有那么单纯
    不可能难道真没有别的可能
    这怎么成
    我不要安稳
    别希望我会爱到满身伤痕
    我不怕沉沦
    一切随兴 不能

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    豆豆 刘wrote:
    来看老朋友啦
    Apr. 5
    小欣 Huwrote:
    到很后来才意识到不要随便梦到谁
    Mar. 13

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